story swap
by lyra13x7
Summary: basicaly, this world is jeriah's porno book. and we switch out with some random ninja's. so there in our world and were in there's both thinking that the others is a world of fiction. rated m for my messed up sence of humor.


**A/N me and my friend lynny, are writing this together. this chapeter is sam's but lynnys writeing the next one. i dont know when she'll be done(shes verry lazzy), and this will be posted on her acount too, mabby. .**

**oh, and i don't own naruto!**

_hmmm...somethings pokeing my back...? wha..? -_i opened my eyes-_The fuck? _I sat up and started picking leaves from my hair. _How did I get outside? Lynny!_ I smiled and shook Lynelle awake. she gronded

"whaz happinin?"she mumbled.

"Wake up, I don't know where we are." I yell-whispered at her.

"What?" Lynelle said flatly looking around the surounding forest, thick with trees and a river to the right, with a look of confusion on her face.

"I dunno I just woke up" i squeked. then I felt it, something in my gut squirming telling me to run

"someone's coming!" I said turning slightly so that my back was to the stream, looking for said visitor.

"Oh crap hide behind that random tree-bush!"lynelle orderd.

"hai" i agreed, saluting. but Before we could reach our hiding spot, a HUGE ass dog poped out of nowhere.

"AHHHHHH!" we screamed and fell on our asses. when i recovered from my mini heart attack, I got up, dusted myself off, and crouched down sort of like L** (A/N from death note) **so that he was at eye level.

"hello" I said he barked back in response causing lynelle to flinch. I lifted my hand slowly stopped by his nose so he would get used to my scent and scratched him behind his ear. "whats your name?" I asked him.

"Akamaru" a man's voice suddenly said.

I screamed and jumped. Lynelle jumped at my shout and the man barked a laugh.

"who are you?" Lynelle asked.

"Im Inuzuka Kiba"

"You have a long ass name man" I said in awe.

"Ok then….is that a complement or should I tell you to go fuck yourself?" he said, raiseing an eyebrow.

"it wasn't an insult but it wasn't a complement eith-" suddenly Lynelle grabbed my sholder and when I looked at her she had her hands over her mouth, and her eyes were sparkleling. like they always were when she was excited. but now she looked about to pass out.

"ummmm you okay lynny?" i asked, kindda scared. lynelle is almost NEVER excited.

"SAM ITS KIBA!"she yelled flailing her arms, another thing she does with excitment, its kinnda scary.

"Ya I know." i said, grabing her sholders "that's what he told us like 5 seconds ago. we know. its okay."

"No I mean Kiba! From shippuden!" I stared at her in shock. then i looked to kiba. _daamn, she's right._then my eyes whent from awed to confuzed_ how the fuck!_

"is she okay?" Kiba asked, sounding startled "and why you looking at me like that?" his question directed at me. then Lynelle passed out cold.

"OMG Lynny are you okay! Don't die god damnit!" i skreached hugging her franticly.

"oh damn! Come on we can take her to my house ,my sister is a veterinarian, so we can figure this shit out. Im used to Hinata fainting anyway."

"hai!" I said trying and failing to get lynny up into a carry-able position.

"here, I can help with that" Kiba said lifting up Lynelle and propping her up on Akamaru.

"thanxs man" I said grinning. but my mind was buzzing, _should i tell him? if so i could help, but then stuff would change. and i'd be useless. 'sides theyed probly think im some sorrta spy. hmmmm, i'll wait for lynny to wake up! lynny always knows what to do! _i smiled as i decided, nodding to myself

"you back in reality yet?" kiba asked.

"what?" i questioned.

"you've been spaced out for the last five minutes, mumbleding to yourself with a confuzed look on your face. then you smiled" he replied

"oh" i said simply, then i broke into a smile, "well im paying atention now! anything you wanted to tell me?"

"ask more like." He said clearly amused, "your names" he jesered over at me and lynny

"im a sam," i exclamed, "and thats a lynny" i said pointing.

He stared at me, smileing. "you talk funny!" he said.

"meh" i screeched, he laughted, and i narowed my eyes _fine, be like that!_ i huffed as i walked away from him

"your going the wrong way." Kiba said, he grabed my hand tugged me so that I was going more to the right, and I smiled.

"how long till we get to your house?"

"at this rate, a long time" he said bluntly "how fast can you run?"

"I cant run" I said, he looked at me, like he must have hear wrong.

"what do you mean you can't run?"

"I mean I cant run for 30 seconds without dying" he laughed, I blushed

"MEH!" I screeched he laughed harder.

"well I suppose I'll have to carry you then!" he announced.

"um, okay" I said dropping his hand and jumping on his back. He then ran trough the tree's like a retard squirrel at an amassing pace, akamaru off to the right. About 15 minutes later, we arrived at his house. And had his sister hana looking over lynelle. one bucket of ice later and i had my lynelle back in the land of the living.

"ekkk!" she sheaked "what the fuck you bastereds do?"

"your fine" hana said, then she left.

"ya~y! my lynny's back!" I said with a grin, grabing her and pulling her into a hug. "wana make pancakes!"

she stared at me in utter shock. "eh?"

"whats a pancakes?" kiba questioned i stared at him, stunded. _he's never had a pancake_

"what?" he asked, "what'd i say?"

"you sir, are one horribley deprived child!" i anounced, loudly.

"a pancake is a kind of sweat bread" lynelle explaned, as soon as she recovered from cold shock.

"where's the kitchen?" i asked.

"um that way" he pointed. he sounded uncertan as to wether he wanted us near it or not. i giggled

"letts go" i said chearfully, grabing both his and lynelles hands and draging then down the directed path. "i call dibs on a retard pancake!"

"retard pancake?" kiba questioned.

"yeay! when ever lynny makes pancakes, she almost always makes one or two that are deformed and retaded looking. 'cause she wont flip 'em right" i explaned to kiba.

lynelle stared at me with an 'excuse me' face, i laughed.

"sorr~y lynn~y!" i screached hugging her from behind and jumping on her back.

"GET THE HELL OFF!" she screamed.

"nope's! you'll never get's me off!" i anonced, then i giggled.

"umm... we're here." kiba said, pointing to a door. there was something off about him... he wasn't looking us in the eyes...

"WHATZ WRONG!" i screached, jumping off lynny and runing towards him.

"nothing," he mumbled turning his head away and opening the door to the kichen. i grabed his forarms, his head snaped in my direction, and i started inspecting his face.

"then why are you blushen?" i asked.

"CAUSE YOUR FACE IS ABOUT AN INCH FROM MINE! BAKA!" i backed up imdiately, shocked. then me and lynelle looked at each other for a moment, and started laughing. we laughted till we ran out of air, till we didn't have the strength to stand, till we were crying. and then we laughted some more. "are you guys okay?" kiba asked for the 7th time causeing us to laugh a little harder each time. finaly, we calmed down. "are you okay?" 8th.

"hai!" i exclamed! and me and lynelle laughted a little more. then i cluched at my gut. "doctor lynny! i hurts!" i wined

"ya me too," she said. she was also cluching at her gut, winceing. "its cause we were laughing we'll be fine, i think"

"yay! now lets go eat pancakes" i said. jumping up and smileing. lynelle raised her hand and i took it helping her up. but unlike other people when lynelle wants you to get her up, you have to pull her. i yanked but lost my footing and stumbled forwards, i managed to get a grip on her hand in time for me to stop her from falling into the wall, but scared her shitless non the less.

"you basterd!" she shirked. "you were gonna fucking drop me!"

"ah, but i didn't" i said more mellowed the before. "now lets go eat pancakes!" i said in my hyper, childish voice from before.

"KIBA! HINATA AND SHINO ARE HERE!" hana screamed.

"ya ya, im coming!" kiba yelled back. "well, be right back. try not to breck nothing, hey Akamaru" said dog grunted, as if to say _what do you want?_ "keep 'em company till i get back" he grunted again, but more anoyed. more like a _do i have to?_ i giggled.

" 'course you have ta! it'll be fun! we'll get lynnys pancakes" i enthused as lynny opended the door and started raiding the shelves for pancake ingredeants. i whent to the middle of the room and started spining, once, twice, three times. then i croched down again **(A/N like L from death note)** and looked towards the enterance where akamaru stoud. looking hesitant to enter. "stop being shy! come over here and talk to me!" i ordered him.

"because you sudenly understand dog now?" lynelle qusetioned sarcasticly, mocking me. as she got all the neaded ingedants and brought them to the counter. i stuck out my tounge. then akamaru came up and started smelling my arm. he looked up at me cocking his head to the side and barked.

"does my arm smell funny?" i asked then started smelling my arm. lynelle barked a laugh

"if he's asking you about a smell, dont cha think that it might be the scent of one of my dogs?" lynelle asked. akamaru barked again. a definet _yes._

"well, lynny's got two dogs. tequila and taco. tequila's a girl and a little smaller then you. but she seem's to think she's compleatly weightless, considering she try's to sit on me all the time. and taco's a really really tiny fella but he seam's to think hes freacken huge, 'cause he tryes to kill me allo~t!"

akamaru-who by this point was curled up around me, with me lyeing on him- cocked his head and wined, in a _why would he want to kill you?_ kinda way.

"i don't know, mabby cause im an intruder on his turf"

akamaru grunted, in an _that makes sence_ kindda way, and put his head on his paws.

"what about you? you gonna start barken soon?"

he snorted, and nusled my leg. _nope!_

"well aren't you nice!" i said smileing and scraching him behind his ear. then the door creacked open. "hiya," i said, smileing as kiba hinata and shino walked in "imma sam!" i said pointing to myself "and thats a lynny" i said pointing at lynelle

"god damn it sam, introduce yourself properly" lynelle insisted.

"NO!" i screached. lynelle sighed, kiba laughed

"well...im hyuga hinata. sam, lyn. nice to meet you" she said shyly "and thats aburame shino"

"ya~y" i screached hugging her.

"sam stop scareing the people! and the pancakes are done"

"yes mommy!" i screamed hugging lynelle "i wanna retard pancake!"

"fine just calm down!"

"...yay..." i yell wispered leting go of her and grabing my retade pancakes, lynelle laughted

"a retarde pancake?" hinata questioned, as i spun 3 times and sat.

"yeay, whenever lynny makes pancakes she allways makes one or two deformed ones, i like them better then the normal ones" i explaned.

"oh" hinata said, though she still looked confused.

then i saw kiba and shino geting some pancakes out of the courner of my eye. _witch reminds me _i thought, geting myself a peace "nom nom nom nom noms" i mumbled happly, then i looked over to akamaru "wanna share?"

he grunted, questionly _why not? _

"here ya are" i said breaking off a peace of pancake for him. he downed it and barked apreciatively, waggin his tail.

"he said its good" kiba translated, takeing a bite "he's right" he mubbled through pancake.

"i know what he said" i said breacking off another peace, throwing it up, and catching it in my mouth on the way down.

"y-you can speack to him?" hinata questioned.

"well no, just sortta, ummm the way he says it, i've allways been good at understanding other languages too. not cause i understand what there saying just the way there saying it." i said "am i any good at understanding?" i asked akamaru.

he cocked his head, and grunted, sort of indecisvely _somewhat_

i laughted "i see you have such fath in my abiltys. wait a minute why aren't you eating lynnys nomy-nom pancakes?" i asked hinata as i gave another peace to akamaru.

"u-umm cause y-you never o-offered" hinata mumbled.

"duuude, u dont nead my permission, or lynny's if you want some takes some" i said, catching another peace in my mouth.

"b-but-"

"damn it kiba give her damn permission so she'll eat a fucking pancake!" i screamed at him as i gave akamaru more pancake.

"w-what?" hinata asked

"well u said 'but', and tecnicly this is kiba's food, so i figured it was what you were geting at"

"no im j-just not that hungary" she blushed.

"oh, sorry. and what is with you people and blushing for no reson!."

"they have plenty of reson! you just have no sence of personal space" lynelle countered from her perch at the table with a slightly blushing kiba and a stratefaced shino next to her.

"your the one that was grabing my tits! yet IM the one with no sence of personal space!" kiba and hinata looked shocked by this, shino might of been but i couldn't tell. lynelle flushed red.

"god damn it sam! that was an acident! and i didn't grab you! i was just sortta nuged you to get your attention! and i thought i was nudging shollder flesh" she managed through laughter and sighs.

"sure it was!" i said, sarcasticly.

"it probably was an acident, or she would have come out to you by now about being gay" shino said.

"wholy fucking shit! it can talk!" i screamed pointing at shino, and droping my pancake.

"sam stop mocking the people!" lynelle scoled

"but it fuuun!" i wined

"sam!"

"yes mommy" i said pouting, kiba laughted at me. "MEH" i screached at him, he laughted harder.

"sam, lyn h-how did you know kiba?" hinata questioned.

"oh we just met him like ...umm... 20-30 mins ago?"

"yea thats about right" lynelle asured me.

"are you c-cousins, you act kinda similer?"

my face scrunched up in thought,"i dont think so," i said and i turned to lynelle "am i?"

"no you freacking dumbass" she muttered

"and how long have you been frends?"

"bout a year and a half," lynelle started

"we met when we were 4-ish but then lynny had ta move cause she's an asshole mexican retard!" i anouced

"why am i an ashole? its not like i had any chose in the mater"

"mabby you did have a choise. mabby you were tired of my bulshit but insted of just telling me to fuck off, you used your telikinectic powers to brain wash them into moveing!" i asked crosing my arms, glareing. lynelle tilted her head back and pinched the top of her nose, sighing.

"god damn it sam! i promise i didn't brainwash my parents into makeing me leave you when we were 4. okay?"

"ya~y!" i cheared, then i noteced team 8 looking at me strangly. "what?" i asked "there something on my face?"

"no sam, there just not used to your retard ways."

"oh. how manny more pancakes?" i asked, just now relizing that my pancake was ruined by the ground.

"ummm alot" she said pointing to a huge ass stack of pancakes.

my eyes whent whide "wholy shit balls in a can! we cant eat all that"

"wholy shit balls in a can?" kiba repeted. an eyebrow raised.

"meh!" i screaked at him. he started laughing.

"no, you will explane the thought prosces that would poeses you to say 'wholy shit balls in a can'"

"thoses are all words in the 'curses' part of my brain. and i dont think before i talk. so i just strung together some words from the 'curses' part of my brain. and thats just how it came out this time" by this time he was laughing almost as bad as me and lynelle were earlyer "MEH!" i screached, glareing. he laughed harder.

"duuuuude! we should go out side and have a pancake picknic!" i exclamed happily.

"what?" asked lynelle flatly.

"we should bring all the pancakes outside, and find a big shit loud of people to come and eat the pancakes with us. cause theres no way in hell were eating all thoses" i explaned.

"umm th-thats a g-good idea" hinata mumbles.

"thanxs man!" i said smileing at her. "ka so you people find people that you know and get them to come here and me and lynny will get the pancakes outside"

"it seems were being delt most of the work," kiba said smiking.

"well i cant just walk up to randum stangers and ask them in they want pancakes! they'd think i was a rappest!" i anounced. he laughed.

"no i mean you should come with us, we can take out the pancakes when we get back."

"but you guys would be alot faster without us" i pointed out. he smiled.

"i dont mind"

"aweeeeee" lynelle said.

i stared at her a secound. "what?" i asked tilting my head and scrunced up my eyes in thought trying to figure out what she thought was cute. then i looked over to the others to see if they knew what she was talking about. kiba was blushing, hinata was blushing, looking at the ground, and shino was stareing at me, but i couldn't see his face. "what"

lynelle sighed, holding her noise "nevermind sam."

"WHAT!" i screamed glareing.

"just leave sam" lynelle said.

"FINE! DONT TELL A SAM!" i screached geting up and storming off. or trying to, but the secount i stod, i stoped. i was haveing a black momment, **(A/N and no it has nothing to do with africans, i have iron deficiency anemia. i just didn't know what i was when i was little so i called it a 'black moment' cause my vision when black) **i fell to my knee's, stareing forward with wide unseeing eyes, blinking.

"SAM" kiba hinata and lynelle were all chanting, lynelle from her chair, kiba and hinata from ether side.

"im okay it just a... have you ever sat for a long time and when you stand up the bloud in your brain fucks up and you cant see for a secount and you get all diszy and your body feals all heavy" i started slowly regaining my eye sight,

"a black moment" lynelle stated.

"yeay but this one lasted longer."

"are you sure your alright, that sounds bad." kiba asked worried.

"well... i dont know" i said simpley "i never whent to the doctoir about it so i dont really now whats wrong. i could be nothing or i could die in the next 5 mins. who knows"

his eyes whent wide "im taken ya to the hospital!" he anounced

"do i have to!" i wined, pouting. "what about our pancake party!"

"the rest of us will take care of that, you go see if your about to die or not" lynelle ordered.

"come on" kiba said offering a hand to help me up.

"fine" i said grabing his hand and pulling myself up. "letts go" i sprinted off out the door and down the hall. i got all the way to the other end before he left the kitchen, but he caught up in secounts.

"i thought you said you cant run" he stated.

"i cant, not because of a lac of muscles because of my lungs. any faster then this and my lungs will give up."

"ok" he said smileing as we ran out the front door.


End file.
